Real Talk: I help people become more self-aware, communicate more effectively and lead more aligned lives using the Enneagram. I will use any means necessary to help you relate it to real life.
Welcome to the Enneagram, Romcom edition.
Ever wonder why some movies make you angry and others leave you wanting more? This might be a result of more than just quality of acting and production style. Your Enneagram type might be at play. (Type 4, I see you. I will never take you to a generic blockbuster, I promise.)
The purpose of this newsletter is to help you understand why you do the things you do and how to stretch beyond your comfort zone. Whether it is being a stronger communicator, deepening self-awareness, or realigning your career path, the Enneagram is the tool for you.
This week we are using storytelling to ignite your understanding of the Enneagram. As a movie aficionado and 90’s rom-com girl, I bring you the romcom that perfectly captures your Enneagram type.
Romcom by Enneagram type:
If you know your type, you can see how your type plays out in each movie. If you still don’t know your type (what are you waiting for? go here or here ) notice if you have a favorite listed below and that may give you insight into your motivation!
Type 1 Perfectionist
(Motivation is to do the right thing, struggles with spontaneity)
THE HOLIDAY: The buttoned up, stylish character played by Cameron Diaz in this classic holiday movie is perfectionism personified. Once she surrenders control and lets her guard down, she finds playful moments of joy and spontaneity. This is what every Type 1 resists, yet exactly what they need.
Type 2 Helper
(Motivation is to be liked and appreciated, struggles with boundaries)
MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING: Story of a Type 2. A perfect mishmash of friendship, love, and a die hard commitment for Julianne (played by Julia Roberts) to make everything work in the name of eternal love and happiness. Boundaries are crossed, tears are shed, until finally, Julianne experiences a new sense of maturity, personal growth occurs and we are left with a sweet resolution.
Type 3 Achiever
(Motivation is to succeed, struggles with failure)
HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS: You had me at competition. A gem for any Type 3. A battle of the best based on ability to charm and outwit? But what happens when the romance turns real? Choosing between recognition and true love is the stretch moment for any Type 3.
Type 4 Creative
(Motivation is to be unique, struggles being seen as ordinary)
SAY ANYTHING: Nothing screams emotional depth (and twisted turmoil) like standing on your girlfriend’s front lawn with a boombox blasting “ In Your Eyes” hoping the love of your life will take you back. John Cusack is far from ordinary in this romcom, leading from his true feelings and unwavering authenticity.
Type 5 Specialist
(Motivation is to understand, struggles with connection)
BOOKSMART: This movie has Type 5 energy. The two female leads are highly intelligent, dedicated, soon to be high school graduates when they discover their hard partying classmates are all going to top tier colleges as well. The girls set out on a wild adventure to make up for lost fun over the course of 24 hours.
Type 6 Loyalist
(Motivation is to feel safe, struggles to commit until they have the answers)
RUNAWAY BRIDE: There aren’t a lot of things that require more certainty than pledging to have and hold someone for the rest of your life. Runaway Bride layers humor (so type 6), commitment phobia (even more type 6) and uncertainty into one movie that will surely leave you wondering, is this the right choice?
Type 7 Enthusiast
(Motivation is to experience it all, struggles with the details)
13 GOING ON 30: Adventure, positivity, the freedom to say and do what you want with childlike energy and wonder? This is how life should be (according to a type 7). The growth comes in recognizing that life isn’t always a party and slowing down and that forming deep connections can be rewarding, too!
Type 8 Controller
(Motivation is to be in control, struggles with vulnerability)
THE PROPOSAL: Sandra Bullock is bold, driven, and unwavering as Margaret, executive editor-in-chief at a publishing house. Determined to stay in the U.S., she couples with her assistant to create an illusion of love for residency. Magic ensues when she allows herself to love and be loved. Embracing vulnerability is true Type 8 transformation.
Type 9 Peacekeeper
(Motivation is to be in harmony, struggles with conflict)
NOTTING HILL: Here we focus on Hugh Grant, bookshop owner, and romantic at heart. He falls for Julia Roberts (no surprise) and woos her with his subtle wit and British charm. Not one to rock the boat (Type 9s will avoid conflict at all costs), he pines for her from afar yet hides behind what he truly wants. Finally, in an act of love (and courage) he barrels through London at warp speed to confess his love. Action always wins the race for Type 9s!
Enneagram Romcom Edits:
Looking for a glow? This enzyme mask from Cosmedix will give you spa level results from the comfort of the couch. Perfect for our Enneagram 5s who prefer their self care to be a solo endeavor.
I have yet to purchase anything from Lake, but have been curious about this cute pajama brand! Currently coveting this Hamptons Short Set in blue awning. (This set has Type 2 energy: cute and playful)
Podcast Alert:
I was recently a guest on What’s Possible with Ilene Schaffer talking about all things Enneagram. Ilene is a Silicon Valley based executive coach so a lot of our focus was on the Enneagram in the workplace but there are many juicy nuggets! You can pop this on while you stretch your legs between movies!
If you are new to the Enneagram:
The Enneagram measures motivation. Why you do the things you do. The Enneagram doesn’t tell you who you are. It shows you how you’ve been surviving, and what it’ll take to actually thrive. It is your default behavior, your blindspots, and your unconscious habits that get in the way of what you truly want.
Learn about the Enneagram:
Take a free test
Read type descriptions
Book an Enneagram Session
This week’s challenge:
Identify a blind spot. Research your type and find a behavioral pattern that you can’t typically see and work on it. Or, if you don’t know your type, ask for feedback from others on how you could be better!
As a 7, one of my blindspots is overcommitting and underprocessing. Saying yes to all the things (at work and play) without checking to see if they align with my values, my health or my goals. The antidote? Slowing down and considering all angles.
See you next week,
Ali