The Art of Letting Go (Or Not): Delegation by Enneagram Type

Your Enneagram type can explain the real reason it’s so hard to trust others with your to-do list.

Real Talk: As women, we are conditioned to serve others. To do it all, and be it all, even if it is at the expense of our health and happiness.

This is the patriarchy. “Doing it all” is a story we are told about what it means to be a good partner, parent or daughter. It is a belief system. It is a construct of society. It serves the greater good if we do it all and don’t delegate. Less work for everyone else, more work for us.

I have been to a host of women’s events lately. From Elise Loehnan at the Hivery in Mill Valley, to facilitating an in person women’s Enneagram workshop, to attending a Liberty Road event about mid-life in Los Angeles. (Currently writing this from my LA hotel room).

There are many takeaways this week but some of the common themes I heard were:

I have to do it myself.

If I don’t do it, who will?

No one can do it the way I do.

I can’t drop the ball.

I live and breathe by my to-do list.

I can’t say no.

THIS IS YOU ON AUTOPILOT. It is time to step off this train and start becoming aware of your patterns so you can find ways to shift before you burnout or have an existential crisis. (Maybe you already have?)

Your Enneagram (ie your motivation) can help you break these patterns and uncover the “why” behind your fear of delegation. Once you know why you do the things you do it is much easier get things off your plate.

Stop hiding. Start delegating.

Understanding your resistance to delegation by Enneagram Type

If you know your type you can uncover your delegation blocks.

Type 1 PERFECTIONIST (Motivation is to do the right thing)

Self talk: There is only one way. If I delegate it won’t be done right. The shift: Share your standards with your delegatee and embrace “done is better than perfect”. Not everything is going to be 100% but you might free up time for some fun.

Type 2 HELPER (Motivation is to be liked and appreciated)

Self talk: If I let go, how will people need me? Shift: Letting others support you builds balance and deeper connection. Ignoring your own needs only creates distance and leaves the relationship feeling one-sided.

Type 3 ACHIEVER (Motivation is to succeed)

Self talk: Delegation slows me down. I am hyper efficient and don’t have time to delegate. Shift: Think of delegation as hyper productive, it’s efficiency at a higher level. You don’t need to take all the wins.

Type 4 CREATIVE (Motivation is to be unique)

Self talk: No one else can capture my unique vision the way I can. Shift: Delegate the tasks, not the vision. Keep the creativity but hand off the logistics.

Type 5 SPECIALIST (Motivation is to understand)

Self talk: No one understands things they way I do. Shift: Create an opportunity for connection through mentorship and delegation.

Type 6 LOYALIST (Motivation is to feel safe )

Self talk: What if they drop the ball? I’d rather keep control than gamble. Shift: Start with small projects. Slowly build trust and work up to delegating items that require more responsibility.

Type 7 ENTHUSIAST (Motivation is to experience it all)

Self talk: Delegating means commitment, what if I change my mind? Shift: Delegating frees you up for the next adventure. More fun, less follow-up!

Type 8 CONTROLLER (Motivation is to be in control)

Self talk: If I can do it better, what bother delegating? Also, it takes too long to explain what to do. Shift: Empower those around you to rise to the occasion and create an unstoppable team.

Type 9 PEACEKEEPER (Motivation is to be in harmony)

Self talk: I don’t like telling people what to do. I would rather keep the peace than delegate. Shift: Frame delegation as teamwork, not conflict. Clear roles can equal more harmony.

As an Enneagram 7, what are my secrets to delegating?

In business or work: understanding my strengths, blindspots and challenges. Delegating my bookkeeping/accounting is a non-negotiable. I have also delegated my social media and my outreach. I don’t love spreadsheets and details can be overwhelming!

In relationships: I take away my ego. I don’t need to be the best, but I need to feel fulfilled and happy. Creating space through delegation is essential. My daughter will run to the grocery store, and my husband can cook a great meal. My approach to delegation in my family is generally very collaborative and filled with choice. (Very Enneagram 7! Would you rather load the dishwasher or fold the laundry? Works like a charm.)

If you are new to the Enneagram:

The Enneagram measures motivation. Why you do the things you do. The Enneagram doesn’t tell you who you are. It shows you how you’ve been surviving, and what it’ll take to actually thrive. It is your default behavior, your blindspots, and your unconscious habits that get in the way of what your truly want.

Learn about the Enneagram:

• Take a free test

• Read type descriptions

• Book an Enneagram Session

• Team building with the Enneagram

This week’s challenge:

Delegate. Delegate. Delegate. If you fond yourself resisting, get curious. How does my motivation block me from delegating?

See you next week,

Ali